Friday, September 10, 2010

In Mysterious Ways

When I died I went to the in-between place and God met me there.

“You mean Purgatory. You should say Purgatory. That’s what I named it.”

“No,” I responded. “I like the way I’m thinking of it better.”

Anger reddened the Divine face and the hands clenched.

“See! That’s the whole problem with you. . . “ eyes closed and there was a Divine inhalation of breath. The wind stirred our surroundings. “. . . people. You never do what I tell you.”

God slumped down against an oak tree. There was a two-way sign above his head.

“Okay.” I murmured, looking around and waiting for God to cool off.

The road forked ahead of us and the sign beckoned both ways.

“So. . . uh,” I queried after awhile. “which way do I go here?”

“What are you asking me for? You’re not gonna go the right way anyway.”

“Which way’s the right way?”

“Ahh son,” God smiled. “that is a very good question!”

When I awoke I went to the toilet and brushed my teeth.

“You mean bathroom. Brushing your teeth in the toilet is disgusting.”

“Aw. . . shit.”

“This is what I’m saying.” God agreed.

I shook my head. “No, no, no that’s not what I meant!”

“I don’t know.” God shrugged. “That’s what you wrote.. . . .”

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